Archive for the ‘Connectivity’ Category

• Bring Your Gift to Work

  Thursday, May 20th, 2010

  Seth Godin wrote in his latest book “Linchpin” of the gift of emotional labor, and this is the extract:

  “When you do emotional labor, you benefit. Not just the company, not just your boss, but you. The act of giving someone a smile, of connecting to a human, of taking initiative, of being surprising, of being creative, of putting on a show – these are things that we do for free all our lives. And then we get to work and we expect to merely do what we’re told and get paid for it. This gulf creates tension. If you reserve your emotional labor for when you are off duty, but you work all the time, you are deprived of the joy you get when you do this labor. Now, you’re not giving gifts on duty, but you’re not off duty much at all. Spend eight or ten or twelve hours a day at work (not only in the office, but online or on the phone or in your dreams), and there’s not a lot of time left for the very human acts that make you who you are and who you want to be.”

  Some of us may ask: “What do we get in return?” In most cases, we may get little in return. At least in terms of formal entries in our permanent file or bonuses in our year-end pay. But we do benefit. First, we benefit from the making and the giving. The act of the gift is in itself a reward. And second, we benefit from the response from those around us. When we develop the habit of contributing this gift, our coworkers become more open, our boss becomes more flexible, and our customers become more loyal.

  “The essence of any gift, including the gift of emotional labor, is that you don’t do it for a tangible, guaranteed reward. If you do, it’s no longer a gift; it’s a job.”

  How many of us bring this gift of life to work? Or, do we treat life like some kind of transaction that ‘we will only give if we know we will get something in return’? Or, do we abide by a scarcity mentality – ‘never giving, always taking’?

  I know the reason for my being, is to enlarge the lives of others. And in this natural state of being, my life will be enlarged too, and all things I have been taught to concentrate on will take care of themselves.

  Check in regularly. Be mindful of our thoughts (& reactions) whenever we are faced with situations in life (be it at work or elsewhere) that ask us to give our gifts…unconditionally.

  Be spontaneous. Give…let if flow naturally.

  Posted in Connectivity, Flow, Living Authentically | No Comments »

• How has modernity improve our communications with one another?

  Friday, May 7th, 2010

  Henry David Thoreau wrote the following thoughts during the period of 1845-47 when he lived in the woods, and I feel it speaks so aptly about the way we live our lives in modern society:

  “Our inventions are wont to be pretty toys, which distract our attention from serious things. They are but improved means to an unimproved end, an end which it has already but too easy to arrive at; as railroads lead to Boston to New York. We are in great haste to construct a magnetic telegraph from Maine to Texas; but Maine and Texas, it may be, have nothing important to communicate.”

  We are besieged daily by the major telecommunication companies to get the latest gadgets with the state-of-the-art applications, the fastest modems,  and lots of free text messages. And we are constantly glued to the facebook  and twitter etc, yet how has all these modern technologies helped improve our communications with one another? More often than not, the messages we get from these channels serve little for the enrichment of our lives except to know the latest gossip or that someone got an itch on his nose!

  Henry David Thoreau added: “…such a predicament as the man who was earnest to be introduced to a distinguished deaf woman, but when he was presented, and one end of her ear trumpet was put into his hand, had nothing to say. As if the main object were to talk fast and not to talk sensibly. We are eager to tunnel under the Atlantic and bring the old world some weeks nearer to the new, but perchance the first news that will leak through the broad, flapping American ear will be that the Princess Adelaide has the whooping cough.”

  We may find these thoughts amusing but do make a conscious effort to observe and be aware of all the ‘communications’ (or lack of it) that are happening around us.

  How often have we used these modern telecommunications in strengthening relationships with one another, in having a better understanding of one another, and to touch one another at a deeper level?

  Be mindful of your intentions the next time you activate your mobile or email or facebook – on how these connections are improving your communication with all others.

  Posted in Connectivity | 1 Comment »

• Help a man to help himself

  Friday, April 30th, 2010

  

  I came across these thoughts on Philanthropy by Henry David Thoreau in his book “Walden” and I feel it would be good to share them with you.

  “A man is not a good man to me because he will feed me if I should be starving, or warm me if I should be freezing, or pull me out of a ditch if I should ever fall into one… Philanthropy is not love for one’s fellow-man in the broadest sense. Howard was no doubt an exceedingly kind and worthy man in his way, and has his reward; but, comparatively speaking, what are a hundred Howards to us, if their philanthropy do not help us in our best estate, when we are most worthy to be helped?”

  This brought to mind a famous quotation: “Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day; teach him how to fish, and he will eat for a lifetime.”

  It is wonderful that we have generous people who give a good portion of their wealth to the poor and needy. At the same time, we are grateful to the ones who give selflessly of themselves to these people through their lives and voluntary works.

  However, I feel its important that we help the poor and needy to re-discover their worthiness and confidence in themselves. To guide them in their journeys that they have it in them to overcome the odds and to create a life that they deserve. Not just the poor and needy, but everyone whom we meet on a daily basis – to remind one another that we are complete and everything that we desire in life, it’s all there in us!

  Continue to give generously – be it cash, in kind or your service; and when you do, explore how you can help him be on his feet again. It is definitely a possibility that the person you have helped along the way, will not only be able to help himself but also to help others as well.

  Make a difference in someone’s life today.

  Posted in Connectivity | No Comments »

• Allow everything to be as it is

  Friday, March 19th, 2010

  This statement: “Allow everything to be as it is” which came from a few enlightened beings, resonates very strongly in me that it made me reflect over how often we have a tendency to want to have control over almost everything in life. And this ‘control freak’ in us is often the cause of much of our sufferings and pain that we think that if we ‘do not control’ whatever that life offers to us, we will end up the ‘loser’.

  The extract (below) was taken from the book: “The Best of Inquiring Mind”:

  “Our intention is to affirm this life, not to bring order out of chaos or to suggest improvements in creation, but simply to wake up to the very life we’re living, which is so excellent once one gets one’s mind and one’s desires out of its way and lets it act of its own accord.”

  Life is complete and perfect. It’s our egos who will go into a lie that it’s not so; and we have enough advocates of this illusion in society who are constantly bombarding us with messages of fear, that unless we ‘buy something or follow someone or make an offering of sorts’, our lives will be ‘less than pristine’.

  Take a look at our relationships with people. How often have we ‘interfered and intervened’ with how they live their lives just because we have another idea how they ought to live their lives?

  Notice especially with people closest to us: our partners, our spouses, our children, our family and friends – how we have a tendency to want to ‘control them’ according to our misplaced perception of what’s best for them? Yes we can offer advice and share our feelings but the choice is theirs, and it is for them to discover the beauty of life on their own.

  Be mindful every time you see yourself veering towards controlling someone or manipulating his thoughts and actions – pause, reflect…and allow everything to be as it is.

  Posted in Connectivity, Living Authentically | No Comments »

• When friends offer advice, listen carefully

  Friday, February 26th, 2010

  This is an extract from OSHO:

  “One of the great things to be learned is listening. Listen very silently. Just don’t listen indifferently. Don’t listen as if you want others to stop talking and you are just listening to be polite because they are your friends. In that case it is better to tell them not to say anything because you are not in the mood to listen. But when you are listening, really listen – be open, because your friends may be right. And even if they are wrong, listening to them will enrich you. You will learn more viewpoints, and it is always good to learn. So listen well, but always decide on your own.”

  How often have we been guilty of not listening deeply? How often have we allowed our minds to ‘plan what we want to speak’ when the other person is speaking to us, and thus we were not fully present to listen? How often have we shut our minds from listening to others because of our ‘absolutist mentality’?

  When we adopt an attitude of ‘absolutes’ we create a separation among ourselves, and this is where we see fighting among people because everyone claims the absolute truths. This attitude has crippled the whole earth.

  To add to this discussion on listening, J. Krishnamurti said:

  “Can one listen without any conclusion, without any comparison or judgment, just listen, as you would listen to music, to something which you really feel you love? Then listen not only with your mind, your intellect, but also with your heart, you listen with care, objectively, sanely, you listen with attention to find out.”

  “There is an art of listening, which is to listen completely without any motive, because a motive in listening is a distraction. If you can listen with complete attention, then there is no resistance, either to your own thoughts or to what is being said – which does not mean you will be mesmerized by words. But it is only the very silent, quiet mind that finds out what is true, not a mind which is furiously active, thinking, resisting.”

  Truth is vast. Nobody has any claim on it. It is nobody’s monopoly. Infinite are its facets and infinite are the ways to know it. What we know is limited; it is just one part.

  Be open when we listen. There is so much to learn from one another, not just from your family and friends and people within your own community but from everyone.

  Be amazed at what we discover and learn about ourselves and people when we open our hearts to listen…

  Posted in Connectivity | No Comments »

• We are all One, let’s live as One

  Friday, February 12th, 2010

  

  I came across an article in the Straits Times on 10 Dec 2009 by a writer, Navi Pillay who is the United Nations High Commissioner for Human Rights, and these are a few of the extracts (in italics):

  “Old and new forms of discrimination and intolerance continue to divide communities all over the world. Sentiments of xenophobia are on the rise. They are often manipulated for demagogic purposes or sinister political ends.”

  “Discrimination can take many forms, covert or blatant, public or private. It may appear as institutionalized racism or ethnic strife, or manifest itself in episodes of intolerance and rejection that escape scrutiny. Its victims are individuals or groups that are most vulnerable to attack – all those that, due to their race, sex, language, religion, political or other beliefs, national or social origin, birth, status, disabilities and sexual orientation are perceived as different.”

  “Discrimination is often multi-layered. Groups that are marginalized on the basis of their origin or status encounter further curtailment of their rights when they attempt to have the access that international law entitles them to housing, food, health care and education.”

  These thoughts made me wonder how much I am doing to ensure that I break down all barriers of this great divide, and how much I am being to everyone to take away the invisible wall that has been erected over the years. These words made me stop to feel how I may have unconsciously contributed to a world of discrimination, even though I may oppose to it.

  “History has proved time and again that, when discrimination, inequality and intolerance are allowed to take root, they may shatter the very foundations of societies. History has proved that these abhorrent practices have no beneficial aspects whatsoever. Discrimination undermines the social and economic cohesion of societies. It saps their resources. It squanders talent. It marginalizes productive individuals and groups, and depresses their creativity and initiative.”

  Though we may know of discrimination around the world via the media, and have voiced our disapproval of the injustice done to these people  but the question is whether we notice any difference in our own backyard. Sometimes, we tend to want to remove the speck from another person’s eye without first removing the log that is blocking our own vision.

  There is no need to look too far for the answers.

  Take a moment to reflect over how we regard one another – people who are not family members, friends and colleagues, and people who are members of the same fraternity and organization; how we acknowledge the workers in the streets; how we respect people’s choices which are different from ours; and how much we have created a chasm between ‘us and them’.

  Take notice too of how we have divided the world into a series of binary oppositions that privilege one side over the other, how we have created the illusion of dualism – thinking we are separate beings.

  Make a shift now, and make a difference – not just for yourself but also for the world. We are all One, let’s live as One.

  Posted in Connectivity | No Comments »

• Share a thought, make it a positive one

  Friday, January 29th, 2010

  This is an extract from “The Last Hours of Ancient Sunlight” by Thom Hartmann:

  “Ideas are the most powerful force in the human world: everything man-made originated with ideas. Our culture is an idea – the idea of domination – and it can awaken to, or remember, the idea of cooperation that humans lived out for millions of years.

  So if you share these ideas with just one person every month, and each of them shares the idea with one person a month, a rapid and profound multiplication of this view can spread across the world. When you do the math on this ‘one person a month’ sharing, you discover that within less than three years every human being alive – over six billion people – could hear the message, see the vision, and feel the possibility of a better life.

  Whatever the number, there is a synergistic effect in human interactions. The more people who think or believe a certain way, the more who will find it easy to think and believe that way. The more acts of mercy performed, the more people will be inclined to act mercifully. The more people turn to searching for peace and divinity, the more will be found.”

  What is the thought that is occupying our minds every moment, every day? Its been observed that the average person sees the message that ‘the goal of life is to consume’ – more, better, newer, improved, higher status. Most people now lay their hopes, fears and dreams before the altar of consumerism. They hope for the better car, fear of losing their job, and dream of a larger and more impressive house.

  What is our shared vision? A community can be world-transforming when a shared vision is strong, a group mission is acted out daily as part of life and work of the community, and people come together with shared values and purpose.

  What are you thinking now? To clinch the biggest deal or to affirm someone for his/her qualities? To get the best bargain or to make someone happy?

  Make a difference now. Share a positive thought and pass it on…

  Posted in Connectivity, Living Authentically | No Comments »

• To really see each other, we have to bother to look

  Friday, January 8th, 2010

  

  An article taken from a magazine written by Sharon Slazberg about the way we relate to one another – hits home for me when I reflect on how often we have a tendency to want to ‘run another person’s life’ because we ‘feel it’s good for them!”

  Below are extracts of the article:

  “In our daily encounters with people in our lives – how often do we feel a need to be proven right as we look at someone else’s life choices? It is not that they are necessarily doing anything wrong or hurtful, but they may be living in a different way than we have decided they should be living.  Or perhaps our advice turns out to be unappreciated or incorrect, and we come face to face with the fact that someone’s happiness does not revolve around us and our fabulous prescience and good sense; instead, it is based on their good sense, or even on sheer good luck. Can we let go of our need to try to dominate people’s lives and our determination of what the correct outcome of their decisions should be?”

  “…sometimes kindness takes the form of stepping aside, letting go of our need to be right, and just being happy for someone.”

  “…the true benefit is in stepping off of center stage, and experiencing the kindness of delighting in someone else’s good experience.”

  And when we relate to one another, how often do we create images of who this person should be, or can we be fully present and see the person for who he/she is?

  “Can we ever actually see another person? If we create an ‘other’ out of our projections and associations and ready interpretations, we have made an object of a person – we have taken away their humanity. We have stripped from our consciousness of their sensitivity to pain, their likely wish to feel at home in their bodies and minds, their complexity and intricacy and mutability. If we have lost any recognition of the truth of change in someone, and have fixed them in our mind as ‘good’, ‘bad’ or ‘indifferent’, we’ve lost touch with the living essence of that person. We are dwelling in a worldview of stylized prototypes and distant caricatures, reified images, and often very great loneliness.”

  Take notice of our prejudices about another person, and how we do get lost in habitual biases that distort what we’re seeing about our feelings. Learn to see them as they are, not as we project them or assume them to be.

  “Paying attention provides the gift of noticing, and the gift of connecting. It provides the gift of seeing a little bit of ourselves in others, and of realizing that we’re not so awfully alone. It allows us to let go of the burden of so much of what we habitually carry with us, and receive the gift of the present moment.”

  To genuinely see each other, take the bother to look. Wherever we are, in the streets, in our homes and communities, let go of our projections and pay full attention to one another with loving-kindness.

  And when we do, I am certain we will have a better appreciation for the uniqueness in everyone and experience a closer connection with one another.

  Posted in Connectivity | No Comments »

• Be the change you want to see in the world

  Friday, January 1st, 2010

  

  Sharing a bit more on connectivity in our lives, I would like to bring to the discussion a famous poem by John Donne:

  “No man is an Island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main; if a clod be washed away the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a pormontory were, as well as if a manor of thy friends or of thine on were; any man’s death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind; and therefore, never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.”

  Jon-Kabat Zinn shared that we resonate with one another’s sorrows because we are inter-connected. Being whole and simultaneously part of a larger whole, we can change the world simply by changing ourselves. If I become a center of love and kindness in this moment, then perhaps small but hardly insignificant way, the world now has a nucleus of love and kindness it lacked the moment before. This benefits me and it benefits others.

  Remember that we must be the change we want to see in the world – “if it’s to be it’s up to me…”.

  It is not the world’s governments’ issue alone when we see drastic climate changes; it is not the politicians’ challenge alone when we see countries and people waging wars and creating divide among the human race; it is not another country’s problem alone when we see poverty and suffering there; it is not the cleaners’ duty alone when we notice litter and rubbish spewed all over the place; it is not someone else’ concern alone when we witness injustice and inconsiderate behavior in our midst – it IS our responsibility to take the necessary steps to make this world a place it was meant to be…full of love and beauty.

  Make a difference in the world today – start with ourselves. Pick one area that we want to see changed for the better…and do it now. Not later, not tomorrow, not a new year’s resolution, not when we feel we are ready…because the only time we have…is NOW!

  Posted in Connectivity | No Comments »

• Give each other space in a relationship

  Friday, December 18th, 2009

  

  I may not be qualified to share about marriage, being one who is enjoying life to the fullest as a bachelor, however, these thoughts relate a lot to relationships. And relationships with people (and the Universe) are part of our daily lives:

  “You were born together, and together you shall be for evermore. You shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days. Aye, you shall be together even in the memory of God. But let there be spaces in your togetherness. And let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another, but make not a bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. Fill each other’s cup but drink not from one cup. Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf. Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone. Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music. Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping. For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts. And stand together yet not too near together: For the pillars of the temple stand apart, and the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.” (Kahlil Gibran)

  To add to what Kahlil Gibran has shared about marriage, another writer, Stuart Wilde shared that its important to understand that whomever you choose to be with is an individual. They can never be you and you can never be them. You should honour that individuality in them, and you should honour yourself. That understanding is sacrosanct. Then the relationship that develops escalates into an incredible crescendo of energy. Entrapment is ugly – allow people the space to be.

  Take a moment to see the people in our lives and notice how we relate to one another: Do we take one another for granted? Do we make them fit into our version of who they should be? or, do we appreciate their uniqueness and be grateful that they bring their special qualities into our lives?

  Posted in Connectivity | No Comments »